PAY ATTENTION TO THE LATEST CRICKET RULES IN AUSTRALIA!!!


(1) Ricky Ponting - (THE TRULY GENUINE CRICKETER OF THE CRICKET ERA
AND WHOSE INTEGRITY SHOULD NOT BE DOUBTED) should be considered as the
FOURTH UMPIRE. As per the new rules, FOURTH UMPIRE decision is final
and will over ride any decisions taken by any other umpires. ON-FIELD
umpires can seek the assistance of RICKY PONTING even if he is not on
the field. This rule is to be made, so that every team should
understand the importance of the FOURTH UMPIRE.

(2) While AUSTRALIAN TEAM is bowling, If the ball flies anywhere close
to the AUSTRALIAN FIELDER(WITHIN 5 metre distance) , the batsman is to
be considered OUT irrelevant of whether the catch was taken cleanly or
grassed. Any decision for further clarification should be seeked from
the FOURTH UMPIRE. This is made to ensure that the cricket is played
with SPORTIVE SPIRIT by all the teams.

(3) While BATTING, AUSTRALIAN players will wait for the ON-FIELD
UMPIRE decisions only (even if the catch goes to the FIFTH SLIP as the
ball might not have touched the bat). Each AUSTRALIAN batsman has to
be out FOUR TIMES (minimum) before he can return to the pavilion. In
case of THE CRICKETER WITH INTEGRITY, this can be higher.

(4) UMPIRES should consider a huge bonus if an AUSTRALIAN player
scores a century. Any wrong decisions can be ignored as they will be
paid huge bonus and will receive the backing of the AUSTRALIAN team
and board.

(5) All AUSTRALIAN players are eligible to keep commenting about all
players on the field and the OPPONENT TEAM should never comment as
they will be spoiling the spirit of the AUSTRALIAN team. Any comments
made in any other language are to be considered as RACIALISM only.

(6) MATCH REFREE decisions will be taken purely on the AUSTRALIAN TEAM
advices only. Player views from the other teams decisions will not be
considered for hearing. MATCH REFREES are to be given huge bonus if
this rule is implemented.

(7) NO VISITING TEAM should plan to win in AUSTRALIA . This is to
ensure that the sportive spirit of CRICKET is maintained.

(8) THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE : If any bowler gets RICKY PONTING - "THE
UNDISPUTED CRICKETER WITH INTEGTIRY IN THE GAME OF CRICKET" more than
twice in a series, he will be banned for the REST OF THE SERIES. This
is to ensure that the best batsman/Captain will be played to break
records and create history in the game of CRICKET.

These rules will be applicable for all the teams VISITING AUSTRALIA.

Please Note: Definitely no "Monkey" business huh..................